Today has been pretty boring until about an hour ago. (Why does everything interesting happen at night time?!) I found out that my dad had been arguing with his mother for about an hour, then talking with his dad for another hour. It was about this time that I was told, but I didn’t really know what was going on until about an hour ago.
Apparently my grandparent’s (on my father’s side) are splitting up. My grandmother was depressed for a long time, so one weekend she suddenly decided to go meet up with one of her friends two towns away and stayed with her until that Tuesday. She drank a lot and (I assume) came to the decision to leave my grandfather.
So she came back and told him all this last night. My parents went over to comfort my heartbroken grandfather at two in the morning. He was very upset—he doesn’t ever get drunk, usually only a beer and that’s it, but he was drunk and crying. My parents got home around four in the morning, got up this morning, and went to work.
I can only assume what time that my dad went to confront his mother (I’m guessing around four o’clock, when he gets off) and they begin talking. My aunt knew about this all since my grandmother goes to her for comfort because they’re very close, but Father was blindsided. Not only was she not happy with my grandfather, but she had found someone else that she wants to spend her time with.
I don’t like either my grandmother or my grandfather. This is the grandmother that has hated my siblings and me since we were born since she did not approve of my parents marrying. Only recently has she started acting like a grandmother. And my grandfather… Well, he’s a bit racist but he means well. I don’t think he actually realizes what he is saying is bad; he grew up in that sort of home. And he doesn’t discriminate against his customers; he is just very opinionated about things that he doesn’t really know anything about.
They’re just people, not perfect, not great, but thrown into this world unfairly just like we all have. I support my grandmother one hundred percent—she was depressed and has the right to go find what makes her happy. If she isn’t happy with how her life is, it is up to her to go out and change what needs to be and take responsibility, and I am okay with that. That’s my philosophy, anyway—do what makes you happy.
But my father is crying. He doesn’t cry. As much as I dislike my father sometimes and cannot wait to move away, it still hurts me to see him upset like this. That’s when you know that he is truly upset.
I don’t really know what to expect with this. Honestly, I’m okay if they split and I’m okay if they work things out. I just want my grandmother to find what in life will make her happy. They’ll still be working together since they co-own a shop, but she has moved out and is living with her friend just outside of town.
I just want everything to be okay.
So, yesterday was rather upsetting. I am being forced to go to the lake with my family. I know that doesn’t sound bad, but they know that I absolutely despise the lake. I have a phobia of insects, I don’t have anything to do (since I refuse to swim in dirty water full of dead smelly fish, and I don’t like sitting for hours on end with a fishing pole, just waiting), and I am absolutely miserable there.
However, they insist I come along for “family time” (even though I honestly spend every day with them—I don’t do things do things with friends until coincidentally this weekend). It is really stupid, and I tried convinced my mother to let me stay at home (since I would be in the camper the whole time anyway). She is a very childish woman, and threw a fit and was very rude. She always acts like this.
Usually I hold in my emotions, but yesterday I suppose I was at my breaking point and decided to make a list. I will put my list here, so my family can’t find it. I’d probably get in a lot of trouble, really.
- 07/29/2014 - Sister was telling me to move. Not excuse me or anything, but move. So, I stayed where I was because I am a human therefore should be treated like one, and she starts pushing me. Then I get in more trouble than she does because I “made a big scene and wouldn’t just move”.
- Everyone is so loud all the time. Like, I cannot even think because anytime someone wants to say something, they yell it.
- When I tell them that I’m stressing out, Mother dismisses it and says “Well, you stress out too easily”.
- Mother thinks that I am faking and can easily get over a phobia of bugs, even though it causes me trouble. (If I could easily get over it, I would.)
- Apparently sarcasm and joking around is bullying now.
- I’m heartless for not wanting/liking kids.
- Apparently I’m always rude. Always.
- Father makes racist/sexist comments and jokes, even though I have asked him to stop repeatedly.
- Sister does not listen when I ask if she could “please be quiet” or “please put in headphones while [she] watch[es] that video”, yet she flips out at me when she first asks me, always yelling.
- Sister makes me feel worthless, and is very super rude.
- Sister is a hypocrite.
- Brother is a know-it-all.
- Brother constantly has to make noise, even if asked repeatedly by multiple members of the household to stop.
- Mother throws pity parties and likes to think that no one helps/needs her, even if we help her and do what she asks.
- Father is rude and aggressive sometimes, and doesn’t always help around the house, even if asked.
- Mother thinks that scary anythings are gateways to bring demons into our household.
- Mother is always quick to accuse and point fingers.
Reasons to move away
- My father’s mother hates my brother, sister, and I just because we came from my mother, whom she does not like.
- I would get to get away from not only my verbally abusive immediate family, but also:
- My mother’s side of the family, who are extremely Christian,
- My father’s side, who are racist/sexist alcoholics,
- The crazy Pentecostal church I’m forced to attend,
- The crazy churchgoers who think everything should be about
- the south.
- Apparently I “speak and dress like a Yankee” anyway.
- My uncle claims that I have a “Yankee” accent, and he wonders how I got it, since I live down here in Texas. And, since I don’t wear cowboy boots or hat, I dress like a Yankee. I obviously belong up north then! Yeehaw.
I know this stuff may sound petty, I guess. But it is stuff that has really hurt me. This is not all that this blog will be about, of course, but this blog will really be just about my day and what’s happening, et cetera. I suppose I will try to submit things every day that I can. How am I even supposed to end these? Oh well.
said: WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?
Hm… Coloring in a Hello Kitty coloring book while laying in my great grandmother’s living room. Super cute!~